Thursday, March 20, 2014

This I Believe



For few months or so, people have been asking me, “Isn’t it going to be hard to leave everything behind?” I guess my response has pretty indifferent all along. It isn’t that I don’t think there will be any sacrifice involved. It isn’t that I think that it’s not a big deal—to leave your family, friends, country, and culture. Maybe it’s just too big of a deal, too big to understand, to digest, and to feel all at once. Well, I am about 60 days from leaving and I am beginning to feel it. From the time until we leave, will be how long we will be in Tanzania. My mind is starting to picture the goodbyes- goodbye to familiarity, goodbye to culture, goodbye to instagram, and goodbye to those things I find so crucial.   Yet as I replay all the things I will miss, I come back to this essential thought- it’s only when you miss something and when it hurts that it really becomes a sacrifice. Otherwise, it’s a change or an adjustment or a self-serving choice. It’s not a sacrifice until you feel it. Sacrifice is a sign of love. You give up something for someone else. You put that person ahead of yourself. God could not have sacrificed more than He did by becoming human and going to the cross. I’m only following His lead. I’m telling God that I love Him more than I love anything in the world when my heart hurts. I won’t turn around or give up His call because it hurts a lot. I’ll just give it to Him as a humble gift, as an offering. King David said, “I will not…sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.” Over and over, God tells us that He really starts to work when we hurt for Him, when we want what He wants more than anything. And that’s where I am and that’s why I know He’s about to get to work. There is excitement in this pain, therefore, because the Creator of the universe is about to sit down at the piano and make Mozart look like a monkey. My life will be His score. This I believe.

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